are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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