WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Ladies don't puke and tell
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
