DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
