Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
