today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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