Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
