Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
