even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
