the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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