Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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