I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
