It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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