a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
zippers are such a cool invention
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
