I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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