Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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