This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
