My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
