I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
