Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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