i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
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