I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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