she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
