so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
