I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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