Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
