So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
