Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We are all done wearing pants today
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
