Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
being pregnant is like rehab
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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