you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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