Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
