There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
