I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
