Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
