Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
