Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
