For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The air was thick with penises
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
