There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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