I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
