A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You need Xanax blowdarts
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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