Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
