he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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