Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
