Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
