My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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