And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
