You work out of a Hotel?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
