so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
