if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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