ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
