when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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