Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
