Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
