I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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